


Edward Couteau: Demon Barber of Fleet Street

by Alastors_Radio



Series: Hazbin Movie Parodies [1]
Category: Hazbin Hotel (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Sweeney Todd Fusion, Human Alastor (Hazbin Hotel), Human Angel Dust (Hazbin Hotel), Human Charlie Magne, Human Mimzy (Hazbin Hotel), Human Vaggie (Hazbin Hotel), Human Valentino (Hazbin Hotel), No Smut, Other, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-23
Updated: 2020-10-25
Packaged: 2021-03-09 06:01:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27159002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alastors_Radio/pseuds/Alastors_Radio
Summary: Sweeney Todd meets Hazbin Hotel!
Series: Hazbin Movie Parodies [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1982405
Comments: 7
Kudos: 13





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> First installment in a series of movie Parodies staring our favorite Hazbin Hotel characters!

Edward Couteau looked over the edge of the ship to see the dawn coming up over the horizon. "London is beautiful, isn't it Mr. Couteau?"

"Indeed it is Vagatha." They both breathed in the salt sea air. 

"There is no place like London." Vagatha smiled, she hasn't been to London in so long, she missed the beautiful sight of it.

"No, there is no place like… london." Edward smiled almost maliciously. Once they docked they exited the ship and stood on the dock. "This is where I leave you, Miss Vagatha."

"Will I ever see you again, Mr. Couteau?" She asked hopefully. 

"You may. If you're ever in town, you can find me on Fleet Street." With that, Edward turned on his heels and headed towards the familiar roads. It was still dark out, but the sun starting to rise, he could see just fine. He walked with intent, staring down the dark allies and around every corner. One would normally be happy to return home, but not Mr. Couteau. Oh no, he had a goal in mind, and no one… was going to stop him. 

Soon he found himself standing in front of a building, he looked at it and almost felt a twinge of happiness in his heart. But it was quickly squashed on when he stepped through the door of a pie emporium and noticed a… Man? Dressed in a white and pink dress, his blonde hair sticking up in places, rolling out, what Mr. Couteau could only hope, was dough.

The person behind the counter looked up and gasped. "Fuck! A customer!" His blue eyes widened. Edward was about to turn and leave when the man spoke again. "Wait! What's the rush?! Come sit! I'll get you a meat pie! Besides, no offense toots, you look a little too thin." He flashed a smile and was quick to get that pie. "Here you are sir! And here is a pint of ale, to help wash it down." 

Edward stared at the blonde and looked back at the pie. He reluctantly took a bite and stopped. "Yeah, they are probably the worst pies in London. But what with the price of meat? Gotta do what ya gotta do. Besides, I ain't low to around and just pick up any old thing. Unlike that Mrs. Mooney. I think she is using kitty cats in her pies. I mean, I don't know for sure, but lately all the cats have been disappearing." He whispered to the man dressed in red.

Mr. Couteau was quick to down his ale, "yes. Well.. that would be rather.. nasty. To eat a feline." He made a rather disgusted face at the thought. "But on a different note, I noticed that you have a spare room? Above this… establishment.. Mr…..?" He asked.

"Del Estate. Anthony Del Estate. And Up there? Yeah it's available! Though, no one stays long, people think it's haunted or some shit." Edward looked at the blonde in confusion. "You see, something happened a long time ago, something that was very.. nice of ya get my drift."

"Do tell me the story?" Edward smiled.

Anthony shrugged "Sure. Ya see, there was this Barber and his wife, they had this baby girl too. He was the best barber in London. And his wife? Boy was she a looker! Shirt blonde hair, curves in all right places, voice of a fucking angel! I mean, I'm not into that kinda thing, but everyone would always look at her. And one day, this guy, Judge Valentino, spotted her and he just had to have her. So he had the barber sent out in exile and he took his wife for himself." 

"And what was the barber's name?"

"Ledette. Alastor Ledette."

"And what if his wife and baby?"

"Wife died." Edward almost let his smile slip as he felt his heart twist in pain. "And Judge Val took the baby and raised her as his own child." Now anger had mixed in with the pain. "You're him, aren't ya? You're Alastor?" Anthony looked at him and Edward didn't look at him.

"I go by Couteau now. Edward Couteau." 

"Well Mr. Couteau, would you still like that room?" Anthony asked with a smile, a gold tooth flashing briefly. Edward nodded and followed Anthony outside and up the stairs of the building on the side. When they entered the dusty, unused room, Edward looked around in a daze. It had been so long since he had been up here, it almost didn't seem real. 

"No one has been up here, except for me when I first bought the place." Anthony said as he bent down near the old barber's chair. He pulled a plank of wood from the floor and pulled out black box. "I saw these and thought it be best if I put them somewhere safe." He handed the box to Edward and stood back. 

Edward opened the box and smiled at what was inside. A clean and polished set of barber's shaving knives. He pulled one out and looked at it. "Ah, my old friends. It's been awhile." He said as admired the sharp steel. 

"Though, I'm not sure how much business you could get. There is new barber, a small female, goes by the name of Madame Niffty." Anthony said as he also admired the object. 

"You don't say." Edward thought about that, how would he get business if someone else was already in the top spot?

"She is open tomorrow, in the market place. We could always… drop a visit?" Anthony smiled and was returned with a sharp smile.

"Sounds splendid my dear." He looked down at his friends again. Soon, he would have that Judge. Even if it kills him.


	2. Chapter 2

Anthony and Edward walked through the London square, weaving in and out of groups of people, making their way towards Madame Niffty's barber station. Once they reached the location, they noticed the giant crowd that surrounded the entire area. "The bitch is here like every Tuesday or Thursday or whateva'. Charges a fortune for a simple shave." Anthony said as they found a spot near the center of the crowd. 

Soon a small boy with large glasses emerged from within the trailer looking house and began to heat on a drum. Once he finished getting everyones attention the young lad began to speak. "Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention please? Do you wake every morning in shame and despair, to discover your pillow is covered with hair?" Edward must admit the young lad knew how to sell this… Miracle Elixar. 

A bottle of the Elixar was passed around and when it got to Edward, he took a sniff. His face bunches up and said "It smells like piss."

Anthony took it and smelled as he said, "It smells like.. EW!" The boy kept trying to make a good argument, while Anthony and Edward continued to put the Elixar to shame. 

"Ladies seem to love it!" The boy shouted.

Anthony retorted with, "Flies do to." With the most deadpan face anyone has seen. Then a short woman, with hair as orange as flames, styled into a cute bob coke from within the trailer. 

"Who said my Elixar smelled like piss?" She demanded, her blue green eyes stared out into the crowd.

"That would be I! Edward Couteau, barber down on Fleet Street." Edward smiled, his reddish brown hair with the black stripe down the right side, blew in the breeze, giving him a more… malicious look. 

"Another barber huh? Well, why don't we see who is the better barber huh?" She looked to the boy, "Baxter!" She snapped her fingers, the boy ran and grabbed two chairs and two sets of everything for the two barber's. 

"If you don't mind, mam, I brought my own equipment." Edward smiled. 

"Niffty." She simply stated but gave a nod of approval. The two set up as two volunteers from the crowd joined them up on the stage set out. Soon she spotted a man in the crowd watching, "Beatle Vox! Please come judge this competition would you?" The man shrugged and made his way over. Niffty was quick to sharpen her shaving tools, not caring that she was cutting Baxter's knuckles while doing so. She quickly lathered up the shaving cream and messily put in on the man's face. 

Edward was gently sharpening his knives still, taking his time. As Nifty began shaving, she spoke to the crowd. After about five minutes, Vox spoke. "And the winner is Mr. Couteau!" Niffty stopped and stared at the man beside her. She couldn't believe it, she was beaten. But how?! She just gave a tight smile.

"Impressive Mr… Couteau? Was it?" Edward just nodded as he watched the Beatle walk away. Niffty stared at him, something about him seems… familiar. She just shrugged it off for now and looked at Baxter with an angered grin. She shoved baxter behind the red curtain of the barber stage and slapped the poor boy. 

Anthony walked up to Edward, "Poor kid." He stated, Edward didn't care either way, wasn't his problem. The two made there way back to Fleet Street.

Meanwhile, in another part of the town, Vagatha was roaming around the back streets, admiring the scenery. When she happened to look up a particular large home, she spotted a girl sitting in a window. Her blonde hair flowed freely over her shoulders, her snow white complection glistened in the pale daylight. The blush on her cheeks standing out against her porcelain skin, like small roses. She was the most beautiful woman Vagatha ever saw. 

Vagatha nudged a passerby, "Excuse me sir, but who is that?" She asked the man. The man looked up at the window.

"That's Miss Charlotte Mange, adoptive daughter of Judge Val." The man said, "Don't get on his bad side, Miss. He isn't one to be kind." With that said, the man walked away. Vagatha looked up again at the window to the fair maiden who sat there, possibly day dreaming. Then the girl looked down at her and smiled. She opened the window and dropped a hankercheif out to the ground below. Vagatha was quick to pick it up. Suddenly the girl look away quick n left without a word. Vagatha stared for a few more moments before she walked away. She had to tell Me. Couteau about the beautiful Miss Charolette Mange.

Inside the manor, Charolette sat by the window and stared out into the horizon. Daydreaming about free, being able to leave her home and roam, find love. She turned her attention to the birds in the cage by the window. "Oh, green finch and Linent bird, nightengale, black bird, how is it you sing? How can you jubilat sitting in cages, never taking wing?" She sighed, her birds always sang and seemed happy, just sitting there all day. She looked out her window and noticed a young woman staying up at her and smiled. She was very pretty.

She opened her window and dropped a hankercheif down towards the woman below. The woman grabbed it and looked back up at her. She then heard a knock on her bedroom door and quickly left to go answer it. "Ah, my dear Charlie! Tell me baby cakes, how was your day?" Judge Val had asked. 

Anthony and Edward b made it back to the pie emporium. Edward went back towards his old shop and Anthony back to the kitchen. The very chimes, telling Anthony that he has a customer, "Hey! Welcome to- oh, it's you. What do ya want?" He speaks as Niffty and Baxter make their way into the shop. 

"Just wanted to pop in and speak to Mr. Couteau, if you must know." She spoke, annoyance well laced in her words.

"Upstairs, but leave the young thing here. I can give him a nice juicy meat pie." Anthony smiled. 

"Yeah yeah, sure whatever." The firey woman said, with a wave of her hand, and walked out.

"Come now kid, take a seat." Anything said once that dreadful woman had left.

"Thank you ma'am!" He smiled brightly as he sat down.

"It's sir, and yer welcome." Anthony smiled. It wasn't the first he was mistaken for a woman, and it certainly wouldn't be the last.

"Why, hello again Mr. Couteau." Niffty said as she swagged her way into the barber's shop. 

"And to what do I owe the pleasure Madame Niffty? Care to make another bet?" Edward laughed, his chocolate brown eyes sparked behind the frames settled on his nose.

Niffty sat on the bench by the wall, "oh nothing, Mr. Alastor Ledette." She smirked while Edward's smile stiffened a bit. "Yeah, that's right Al, I remember you. Who could forget those eyes? Though you probably wouldn't remember me, all I did was sweep hair away from the floors. Though to be honest my hair was more blonde and a lot longer." She smiled.

"Norma Barker." 

"That's right! You do remember me! How thoughtful, but I'm not here to reminisce about the old days, Al. Oh, no! I've come to strike a deal! I won't tell a single soul about who you truly are and…. You give me seventy-five percent of your profits from here on out!" She smiled smuggly. 

Alastor stayed quiet for a long while. The shaving knife resting in hand, has stared her down. 

"What? Cat got your tounge? That's a first! Normally you would be talking my ear off! Swinging along to jazz music while you shaved men's facial hair." She stood and sauntered around the room. "Now I know u have a silver tounge Mr. Ledette, who could forget those quick remarks that could slice a deer in half!" She giggled as she walked right up to him. "I always did have a bit of a crush on you. Those brown eyes, and silky brown locks. Though, this look does look quite good on you too." 

She reached up to touch his hair when he grabbed her wrist and growled. "Don't. Touch. Me." He turned to look her dead in the eye, "And most definitely, don't try to cheat me." He took the shavers blade and jabbed it into her neck. Her ruby red blood spurted out of the artery as he was quick to remove the blade and plunge it deep into her neck again. His face was now coated in the woman's blood, she grabbed her neck as she tried to get away, but the damage was already done. She collapsed onto the floor, blood spilling out to form a small pool around her body.

Alastor removed his glasses and polished them on a part of his red dress shirt that wasn't being soaked. "No one, calls me Alastor anymore, is Edward. Edward Couteau." 

Baxter had finished his third meat pie when he eyes the clock on the wall. "Oh no! Madame Niffty has an appointment! He will be late if we don't leave!" He was quick to gather up his belongings as he tried to make a break for the door. But Anthony was quicker.

"I'm sure the Madame had already left, kid."

"But.. I should still go meet her. I don't want her to get angry with me." 

"Hey, it's okay kid. Why don't you wait here? I'll give ya a nice cup of ale!" Anthony bribed as he poured a glass. Baxter's eyes lit up as he gratefully took the mug, downing it in seconds. A thump was heard from upstairs and Anthony was quick to look. "Stay here and have some more. I'll be right back." Anthony left Baxter the ale bottle and made his way to the shop up top. "Mr. Couteau? Ya alright in here?" He asked. He saw Edward cleaning up the blood from his glasses. "For fucks sake, what happened?!" He almost yelled as he gathered some towels to help clean the blood off the floor. He told the dead woman away and stuffed her into a trunk. 

"She knew who I was. I had to end her. Plus she wanted to take seventy-five percent of my profits! That dasterdly woman." 

"Oh, well then she deserved it then, that bitch." She helped Edward get most of the stains out his shirt after the evidence on the floor and everywhere else was cleaned up. Someone then suddenly burst through the door.

"Mr. Couteau!"

"Vagatha? Whatever is the matter dear?" 

"I met a girl! Well, sorta met a girl. Her name is Charolette Mange and she is the most beautiful girl I've ever seen! But she is held hostage by this Judge of sorts." Vagatha spoke quickly. Edward's eye twitched a bit. "Her hair is as yellow as the sun! Her skin, white as snow! And her rosey cheeks are a beautiful shade of pink!" Vagatha sighed as she remembered the details of the woman's face.

Edward and Anthony listened for awhile until Vagatha left again. Probably to seek out the fair maiden. Once she left the two made their way back to the pie shop. "So, Mr. Couteau, what are we to do with the body we got stored away in ya trunk?"

"Late tonight, I'll take the body somewhere private and burn it." 

"What a shame. I'm sure she didn't have any friends or relatives who would come looking for her." Anthony looked out the window and thought for a moment. Then a smile came across his face. Edward looked at the flamboyant man standing in front of him.

"What?" He asked as he raised an eyebrow.

"Seems an awful waste. I mean, with the price of meat and when you get it, if you get it?" Edward's expression went from confused to knowing. "Good you got it! Take for instance, Mrs. Mooney and her pie shop, she only uses pussy cats and toast. Now a single cat is good for maybe.. six or seven at the most, and I'm sure they can't compare for it's taste!" Anthony smiled widely. 

"My, Mr. DelEstate, how I love without you all years I'll never know!" Anthony laughed and went over to the bar and placed a meat pie olin front of Edward. "What…. Is that?"

"That's priest!"

"Is it any good?"

"Well, they don't commit sins of the flesh, so it would be pretty fresh."

"Anything lean?"

"Well if your british and loyal, you might enjoy royal marine, and he would be clean. But it might taste of wherever the hell he's been."

"Really Anthony, you are a bright one." Edward smiled.

"I mean, plenty will be coming for a shave, have plenty of flavors." Anthony gave his own wicked smile.

"And we could serve anyone." Edwards eyes grew.

"And to anyone." Angel said.

"At all!" They spoke at the same time.

"Okay, Mr. Couteau, that was fucking weird."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now, not everything is gonna be perfect. I may miss some scenes or something but I'll try to get everything in! Thank you all for reading! More to come soon!


	3. Chapter 3

After a long day at court, Judge Valentino finally made a verdict. "For your crimes against the city of London, I, Judge Val hereby sentence you, Rosie, to be hanged. Court is adjurned." He banged his gavel and the room erupted in a series of cries and applause.

"What a wonderful conviction, your honor. Just what the people wanted." Beatle Vox smiled as he made his way to walk beside Val. 

"It was, wasn't it?" Val smiled and then it fell just as fast.

"What's the matter, Val? Your never this sad about anything." Vox stated.

"It's Charlie. We had a little talk yesterday and I had asked her for her hand in marriage." 

"Well that's wonderful!"

"Yes it would've been, but she rejected me." Vox gave him an apologetic look. 

"You know, maybe it's because you look a little rough around the edges. Maybe a nice shave would help calm her nerves!" Vox smiled and Val just gave him a look. "I had the honor of meeting a new barber in town yesterday, goes by the name of Edward Couteau. Very fine barber indeed."

"Hmm.. maybe you're right, Vox. Maybe.. maybe if I was smooth in my facial area, then Charolette would be more open to my proposal!" Val smiled widely. 

"Then sir, I'll take you to fleet Street right away." They both smiled and headed off.

"When will the judge come?" Edward asked as he cleaned off his shavers.

"Ya just gotta wait toots, ya want this revenge to mean fucking something! Fifteen years ona. False charge? Ya want that shit to be slow and juicy!" Anthony said while adding some flowers to brighten up the rather deal barber parlor. "Daisy's… I think Daisy's would look wonderful in here!" He said. 

Alastor just groaned. His smile still plastered on his face. "The beatle said he would bring him here. When!?"

"Mr. Couteau, maybe he doesn't need a shave right at this moment." Anthony said trying to figure out how he could get the future bodies for their pies down to the cellar without dragging them outside. "What if we made this chair into a tunnel shoot? Just hit the pedal and the chair goes backwards and into a shoot that leads right to the furnace area!" Anthony said with a smile.

"When will he come!?" Edward was getting irritated, he waited fifteen years enact his revenge, but it was taking so long!

"Just fucking wait! I swear it's like yer hearin is shot." Anthony groaned. The bell chimed and both looked at who entered.

"I heard this was where the best barber in town resided. Mr. Couteau?" The all man walked in. "Names Valentino. I'm the judge in these parts and I need a shave." He smiled. Finally! This is what Edward has been waiting for.

"Remember," anthony whispered in his ear, "wait." With that said anthony left to go check on the young boy, Baxter. 

"So, Judge Val, what does a higher up man need a shave for?" Edward said as he got the station ready.

"A pretty woman, she has stolen my heart, but she rejected my proposal and it has come to my attention that it may be because I look… a bit rough." He said as he rubbed at his stubble.

"Ah, pretty women, that is always a great time for a nice clean shave." Edward's smile grew tenfold. "Please take a seat." He gestured towards the chair and Val complied. 

They talked about pretty women the entire time, and everytime the judges neck was exposed, it took all Edward's might to not slice it then and there. He would wait till he was just about finished.

While this was going on, Vagatha had made her way back to the Judges manor. She threw a pebble at the window and Charlie opened the door. "Hello." She smiled.

"Hello, I'm Vagatha." 

"My dear, Vagatha, have you come to rescue me?" She giggled and Vagatha smiled.

"If that's what you wish for me to do." She gave the warmest smile. Charlie was quick to accept the offer. "I'll come get you tonight. I promise. Wait for me here and we can run away together!" Charlie nodded and Vagatha left to tell Me. Couteau of the plan.

Vaggie ran to the barber shop and burst in. "MR. COUTEAU!" She shouted "Charolette said she would run away with me tonight!" She then looked to see the Judge sitting right there.

"You! I thought I told you to leave my Charlie alone!"

Flashback

Vagatha was trying to see if she could see Charlie again. To speak to her. When a woman who looked to be like a guard of sorts opened the door. "The Judge would like to see you." She said. She led Vagatha into the manor and sat her down in front of a tall man. 

"Thank you Velvet. You may take your leave now." The woman nodded and left. "So, you have been seen outside my house for sometime, staring up at my Charlie's window." Vagatha said nothing. "Now I don't want you to come around here again. You hear me?! Or I'll make sure you never see the light of day again." He said as he got real close to her face. "Velvet! Take this bitch out!" 

Velvet came back and roughly grabbed vaggies arm. She through her it the door where vaggies face connected with the pavement. Her lip was busted and her head throbbed. "Stay the fuck away." Velvet said before she closed the door.

End flashback

"And you!" Valentino stood and looked at Edward. "In cahoots with this slut!" He turned back to Vagatha. "I'll make sure you never see her again!" He threw off the hair catcher and stormed out.

"Mr. Couteau, I-"

"Get. Out." Edward said through gritted teeth. 

"But I-"

"GET OUT!" He shouted and Vagatha ran out of the shop and past Anthony who was coming up the stairs. He walked into the shop and closed the door quietly.

"All this damn shouting and running about, what happened?" He asked.

"He got away!" Edward shouted, "You told me to wait and now he is gone!" Edward stormed over to the window. "There's a hole in the world and it's a great black pit and it's filled with people who are full shit and the vermin of the world inhabit it." He turned to Anthony. "But not for long. Because we all deserve to die, even you Mr. Anthony, even I!" He stormed past him but stopped at the door. "I'll make that chair shoot and you fix up the eatery below. We will have a grand reopening soon Anthony." And he left.

Valentino entered his home and marched right into Charlie's room without knocking. He saw her packing her belongings before jolting up at the sudden intrusion. "So.. it's true."

"Sir, it's inappropriate to enter a ladies room without knocking." She stated calmly.

"And yet, I see no lady. I told myself that the sailor whore was lying. That my Charlie would never hurt and betray me." Val acted as though his heart was truly broken.

"Sir, I will leave this place." She said.

"Well, since you seem to have broken my heart and not want my company anymore, even though I have given you everything you could have ever wanted, maybe some time away will do you some good." With a wave of his hand, Vox showed up and grabbed Charlie. Charlie struggled to get out of his grip, but it was fruitless. She was put into a carriage and sent away. 

As soon as the carriage took off, Vagatha came running out. "CHAROLETTE!" She shouted to the disappearing carriage. "Where are you taking her! Tell me or ill-"

"Or you'll kill me?!" Val laughed with his arms spread widely. "Well I'm here! Take your best shot!"

Vagatha turned and ran after the carriage, "CHARLIE!"


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has a lot of lyrics in it, only because in the movie, the next 3 scenes are basically just singing. But if course words were changed and such. I hope you enjoy!

Vagatha wonders around, trying to find her beloved Charlie. 

"I feel you

Charlie

I feel you 

Do they think that walls can hide you? 

Even now, I'm at your window 

I am in the dark beside you 

Buried sweetly in your yellow hair 

Charlie."

Edward is in his shop, admiring an old picture of his beloved daughter Charolette and his late wife, Mimzy. It's the only thing he has left of the two.

"And are you beautiful and pale 

With yellow hair, like her?"

He quickly kills the man sitting in his chair.

"I'd want you beautiful and pale 

The way I've dreamed you were"

He presses the pedal. The chair topples, a trap door opens. The corpse of the man slides down a chute and falls at the floor of the cellar. 

"Charlie

And if you're beautiful 

What then 

With yellow hair, like wheat."

He then kills another man. 

"I think we shall not meet again 

My little dove, my sweet 

Charolette" 

Vagatha continues to search, wanting nothing more than find her. 

"I'll steal you, Charlie!" 

Edward makes another kill. 

"Goodbye, Charolette! 

You're gone, and yet you're mine 

I'm fine, Charolette 

I'm fine!"

Outside the shop, the beggar woman opens a gate and stares at the meat pie shop from afar, sighing shakily. Anthony walks down to the basement. 

"Smoke! Smoke! 

Sign of the devil 

Sign of the devil 

City on fire! 

Witch! Witch! 

Smell it, sir 

An evil smell 

Every night at the vespers bell 

Smoke that comes

From the mouth of Hell 

City on fire! 

City on fire... 

Mischief! Mischief! Mischief!"

An older man enters the shop. Edward takes off his coat and he sits down.

"And if I never hear your voice 

My turtledove, my dear 

I still have reason to rejoice 

The way ahead is clear 

Charolette."

Edward throws a cloak around the customer's neck and applies shaving cream.

"And in that darkness when I'm blind I feel 

With what I can't forget You 

It's always morning in my mind Johanna 

My little lamb, my pet, 

Charolette 

You stay, Charolette Charolette

The way I've dreamed you are" 

Edward then proceeds to slice the man's jugular.

"Oh, look, Charolette!

A star!" 

Vaggie stars into the sky.

"Buried sweetly in your yellow hair"

Edward also stars into the sky. 

"A shooting star!"

The body is disposed of. Back outside, the beggar woman stares in horror at the black smoke coming from the chimney. 

"There, there, 

Somebody, somebody 

Look up there. 

Didn't I tell you? 

Smell that air 

City on fire!"

Baxter passes her. The beggar grabs him by his shoulders.

"Quick, sir, 

Run and tell 

Warn them all of the witch's spell" 

Baxter escapes the woman's grasp. Anthony climbs up the stairs out of the cellar, holding a tray of freshly baked meat pies. The beggar woman notices. 

"There it is, there it is, the unholy smell 

Tell it to the Beadle and police as well 

Tell them! Tell them! 

Help, fiend! 

City on fire! 

City on fire... 

Mischief. Mischief."

Edward slits another throat.

"And though I'll think of you, I guess 

Until the day I die 

I think I miss you less and less 

As every day goes by 

Charolette" 

Vagatha passes through a graveyard, deep in thought.

"Charlie"

Edward shaves another man's face, not killing him. When he finishes the man stands and goes over to his wife and daughter who were waiting for him. 

"And you'd be beautiful and pale 

And look too much like her

If only angels could prevail 

We'd be the way we were

Charolette"

Vagatha now looks out into the sea before continuing her search.

"I feel you, Charlie"

Edward's raises his shaver getting to ready to shave. 

"Wake up, Charolette! 

Another bright red day 

We learn, Charolette, 

To say" 

Edward, the dapperly man he is, stylishly slashes the throat of yet, another lonely soul

"Goodbye."

Vagatha finds herself standing from front a prison like building.

"I'll steal 

You"

Vagatha takes a few steps back from the building she's observing: Husk's Asylum. Charlie looks down at her, longingly and holding the metal bars. At the barber shop, Edward Couteau sits in the chair, stroking the photos of Mimzy and young Charolette with his bloodied fingers, before closing the frame. This last week had really hard on them all.

The meat pie emporium was having it's official reopening. Baxter stood out front, trying to bring in the customers with his excellent selling skills.

"Ladies and gentlemen

May I have your attention, per-lease? 

Are your nostrils a-quiver and tingling as well 

At that delicate 

Luscious ambrosial smell? 

Yes, they are, 

I can tell 

Well, ladies and gentlemen 

That aroma enriching the breeze 

Is like nothing 

Compared to its succulent source 

As the gourmets among you 

Will tell you, of course 

Ladies and gentlemen 

You can't imagine the rapture in store 

Just inside of this door!"

At the decked out terrace, we see several customers devouring their pies, clearly enjoying them. 

"There you'll sample 

Mr. Tony's meat pies 

Savory and sweet pies 

As you'll see 

You who eat pies 

Mr. Tony's meat pies 

Conjure up the treat pies 

Used to be!" 

Anthony passes his clients, giving his boy instructions. 

"Baxter!"

"Coming!" 

"Ale there!"

"Right, Sir!" 

"Quick, now!" 

They conversed while taking care of customers. Anthony made his way around greeting some customers.

"Nice to see you, dearie 

How have you been keeping? 

Cor, me bones is weary 

Baxter! One for the gentleman 

Hear the birdies cheeping 

Helps to keep it cheery 

Baxter! Throw the old woman out!" 

The beggar woman, who'd stepped towards the shop during the shop, is driven away by Baxter with a rag.

"What's my secret? 

Frankly, dear, forgive my candor 

Family secret 

All to do with herbs 

Things like being 

Careful with your coriander 

That's what makes the gravy grander!"

Edward steps out of his room, pacing around and watching over the customers. Baxter and Anthony continue making their rounds, without a care in the world. 

"Eat them slow and feel the crust." Baxter said to one.

"Eat them slow 'cause 

Every one's a prize! 

Eat them slow 'cause," 

Anthony flips the sign at the door, signaling they are out of meat pies. 

"That's the lot 

And now we've sold it! 

Come again tomorrow!" Baxter said to someone at the door. 

"Hold it!" Called Anthony.

A man climbs the stairs towards the barber shop, where a grim fate will await him. Anthony follows him with his eyes.

"Bless my eyes! 

Fresh supplies! 

How about it, dearie? Is that a pie 

Be here in a twinkling! Fit for a king 

Just confirms my theory, Baxter! A wondrous sweet 

God watches over us And most delectable thing? 

Didn't have an inkling, You see, ma'am, why 

Positively eerie There's no meat pie" 

The beggar wan has returned to the shop. Anthony points angerly, "Baxter! Throw the old woman out!"

Baxter pushes the woman out of the shop and closes the door.

A week later, Edward Couteau and Anthony are sitting on a picnic blanket underneath a tree, while Baxter is flying a kite, somewhere in the distance. It's a beautiful day.

"Still got to keep an eye on the household expenditure. Which isn't to say we couldn't get some nice taxidermy animals, bring a touch of gentility to the place. You know, a deer's head or two?" Anthony says, Edward is, again, minding his own business. "Mr. C? Are ya listenin to me?"

"Of course." Edward says, his smile there but strangled a bit.

"Then what did I just say?" Anthony said crossing his arms and pushing his bleached blonde hair out of his face.

"There must be a way to the Judge." Edward's says as he grinds his teeth.

"Judge... Always harping on the fucking sack of shit. We got a nice respectable business now. Money coming in regularly. And since we're careful to pick and choose, strangers, people who won't be missed, who's gonna catch on?" He asks.

He gets on her hands and knees, rapidly kissing the man's cheek, totally invading his personal space.

"Oh, Mr. C, I'm so happy 

I could 

Eat you up, I really could 

You know what I'd like to do, Mr. C? 

What I dream? 

If the business stays as good 

Where I'd really like to go 

In a year or so? 

Don't you want to know?" 

"Of course." He says slightly looking at him. 

"Do you really want to know?" He asks again.

Edward deadpans and say "Yes, I do."

Anthony looks up to the sky, daydrwaming. It becomes more colorful, a seagull passes in a fantasy of Anthony. Hee and Edward are sitting on a towel at the beach, while Baxer plays with a ball in the distance.

"By the sea, Mr. C 

That's the life I'll covet 

By the sea, Mr. C

Oh, I know you'd love it 

You and me, Mr. C, 

We could be alone 

In a house what we'd almost own 

Down by the sea"

Edward remains uninterested as Anthony continues. "Anything you say" 

"Wouldn't that be smashing?" Now I'm Anthony's day dream, we see them sitting at the balcony of a beach house, inside the house, surrounded by friends and walking down a pier. 

"Think how snug it'll be 

Underneath our flannel 

When it's just you and me 

And the English Channel 

In our cozy retreat 

Kept all neat and tidy 

We'll have chums over every Friday 

By the sea 

Don't you love the weather 

By the sea? 

We'll grow old together 

By the seaside 

By the beautiful sea 

It'll be so quiet 

That who'll come by it 

Except a seagull? 

We shouldn't try it 

Though, till it's legal 

For two" 

Now we are in a chapel, we're shown the ultimate fantasy: Edward and Anthony are getting married. 

"But a seaside wedding could be devised 

My rumpled bedding legitimized 

Me eyelids'll flutter, 

I'll turn into butter 

The moment I mutter 

"I do!" 

Anthony mutters those two words. The priest overseeing the ceremony turns to Edward.

"Will you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?" Edward, after a brief moment, nods his head, obviously uncomfortable. As the priest closes his bible he says "you may now your groom"

Anthony leans forward, waiting for some sugar. Edward, uneasy, also leans forward and quickly gives his new groom a fleeting kiss on the lips. Back at the beach, Anthony comes out his daydream. Edward briefly puts his hand on Anthony's leg, before pulling it away. 

"Down by the sea 

Married nice and proper" He embraces Edward and Baxter into a big, tight hug.

"By the sea 

Bring along your chopper 

To the seaside 

By the beautiful sea" Esward, Anthony and Naxter are sitting on the blanket, the lanky man holding them all together.

Back at the barber shop, Esward stares out of the skylight. Anthony enters, holding a tray with some food. "I brought you some breakfast, babe."He puts it on the trunk and looks over to the man he adores. "Mr. C? Can I ask you a question?" 

"What is it darling?" He says not looking at him.

"What did your Mimzy look like? Can't really remember, can you?" 

"She had yellow hair."

Anthony steps closer. "Ya gotta leave this all behind, ya know. She's gone. Life is for the living, toots. We could have a life, us two. Maybe not like I dreamed. Maybe not like you remember. But we could get by." He goes to put a hand on his arm.

Vaggie enters the shop once again, interrupting a moment, and Anthony pulls his hand away. 

"Mr. Couteau! Mr. DelEstate, sir? 

"What is it, Vagatha?" Edward asks.

"He has her locked in a madhouse. Charlie. Husk's Asylum. I've circled the place a dozen times. There's no way in. It's a fortress!"

"I've got him." Edward's whispers happily.

"Mr. Todd?" Vagatha questions. Edward grape her shoulders.   
"We've got her. Where do you suppose all the wigmakers in London go to obtain their hair?" Vagatha had no idea what the hell he was talking about. "Bedlam. They get it from the lunatics at Bedlam." 

"I don't quite understand." Vaggie answers. The look of pure confusion written on her face. 

"We shall set you up as a wigmaker's apprentice. That'll gain you access. And then you take her. Go, quickly, go!" Vaggie smiled and quickly ran back to the asylum  
"Fetch the boy." He spoke to Anthony.

"Don't you think you should leave the boy behind?" He questions. He has grown quite an affection for the young lad. When he doesn't get an answer, Anthony walks down the stairs towards Baxter, who was busy cleaning the tables. "Baxter. Mr. Couteau needs you. 

"Yes, sir." He says and makes his way to the shop. Edward writes a letter, addressed to Valentino, explaining that Vagatha will bring the Judge's ward to his shop. 

"Mr. C?" Baxter asks as he makes his way into the shop.

"Do you know where the Old Bailey is?" He asks the boy as he finished the letter. 

"Yes, sir. Not that I ever been there." Baxter says. Edward hands the paper to Baxter. 

"Take this there. Seek out a Judge Valentino. Repeat that." 

"Go to Old Bailey. Find Judge Valentino." He repeats as instructed.

"You put that into his hands. Only to him, you understand?" 

"Yes, sir. And while I'm out, do you mind if I stop by the grocer just to pick…"

"No. You're not to stop, you're not to speak. You're to deliver the letter. Do you understand?" Edward says, clearly getting irritated.

"Yes, sir." Baxter shakily says. Baxter left to deliver the letter, leaving Edward to pace back and forth as day turned into night.


	5. Chapter 5

In the living room of Anthony's home, we see anthony is asleep in his chair. Baxter comes in, waking him up. "Where have ya been, lad? We had quite the rush at dinner time. My fucking bones are ready to drop."

"Mr. Todd sent me on an errand. And on the way back, I went by the workhouse, just to take a look. And I was thinking, if it wasn't for you, I'd be there right now. Or someplace much worse. Seems like the good Lord sent you for me." Baxter smiled warmly at him.

"Oh, toots, I feel the same way." Anthony smiled back at him.

"Listen to me, please. You know there's nothing I wouldn't do for you. Say, if there were someone around... someone bad.. Only... you didn't know they were bad."

"What is all that 'bout? What are ya talkin' 'bout?" Anthony asked. Confusion was on his face as he looked at the boy with glasses.

"Nothing's gonna harm you, not while I'm around." 

"What do you mean, "someone bad"?" Anthony asked. 

"Well, demons are prowling everywhere. But, I'll send them howling, I don't care. I got ways" Baxter told him.

"Shut it, kid, there's no need for this". 

"Others can desert you, not to worry, whistle, I'll be there."

"Really kid, what the hell are ya talkin' 'bout?"

"Demons will charm you with a smile. For a while, but in time. Nothing can harm you, not while I'm around" Baxter told Anthony again. 

"That's nice, kid. Now, what is all this bullshit really about?" Anthony, once again, asked.

"Little things that I've been thinking about Mr. Couteau." Anthony looked at Baxter with unease. Surely, the kid couldn't be thinking Mr. Couteau would hurt them. 

"Not to worry, sir! I may not be smart, but I ain't dumb." Baxter stated, "Being close and being clever, isn't like being true. I don't need to and I won't ever, hide a thing from you. Like some…" baxter said again while looking upstairs towards the shop.

"Now, Baxter, sugar tits, haven't we had enough of this foolish chit chat?" He stands up and grabs his coin purse. She fishes out a few bills and hands it to him  
"Here, how 'bout I give you a few bucks and you go get us some toffees or chocolates or something?" Anthony says, trying to change the subject.

But Baxter doesn't look at the dollars that Anthony is waving in his face. He looks at the purse, recognizing it immediately.

"That's Signor Pirelli's purse!" He shouts, pointing to purse. 

Anthony pulls the purse away and defends "No, it's not. Just something Mr. C gave me for my….. birthday." 

"That proves it! We gotta go, sir! We gotta find the Beadle and get the law here and-" Anthony is quick to grab Baxter as he starts to head towards the exit and pulls him close while sitting on the couch.

"Hush, Baxter. Hush now, you're not going anywhere. Ya are gonna just sit here, nice and quiet, next to me. That's right, right." He says as he pets the boys head in a comforting way. "How could ya think such awful things about Me. Couteau? He's been nothing' but good to us." He looks towards the wall, trying to figure out what to do. "Nothin' is gonna harm you, not while I'm 'round." 

"Funny that we should be havin' this little talk right now. 'Cause I was just thinking... Ya now how ya always bitch about coming into the bake house with me to help make the pies?" Anthony asks. 

"Yes, sir, I do." 

"Well, no time like the present, yeah?" Anthony says while opening the door to the basement steps.

"I feel bad for you, sir, going up and down all these stairs all the time."

"Well, that'll be your job now, okay?"

"Yes, sir." Anthony opens the next door with a regretful look. The gigantic oven stands on the far wall. "Quite a stink, disgusting." Baxter says whole scrunching up his nose. 

Anthony points to the sweet grates. "You see those grates? They go right down to the sewers, and the smells come up from them.. Always a few rats gonna go home to Jesus down there." Anthony then leads Baxter over to the oven."Now, this'll be the bake oven. Three dozen pies at a time. Always be sure the door is closed properly, like this." He shows Baxter how to properly close the oven door. 

He steps aside to allow the boy to practice opening and closing the oven door. "Door's closed properly, sir!" He smiled proudly. Anthony then leads him over to another machine in the room.

"This is a grinder. Pop in the meat," he then grabs the machine's handle and turns it, meat strands start pouring out from the other end. "Give it a good grind. Pops out there. Ya turn" He says slightly out of breath. Baxter then gives it a go. 

"Good grind and comes out there." 

"That's my boy." He pats Baxter's shoulder and starts walking to the door. "I'm just gonna head back upstairs, I'll back in two shakes, aight?" 

"You mind if I have a pie while I wait?" Baxter asks hopefully. 

"As many as you like, kid." She smiled at him and retreated back up the stairs. He closes the door they first went through, locks it and leans against it, tears start coming down his face.

Vagatha is now learning the ins and out of Husks Asylum. "Yes, ma'am, I agree. It would be to our mutual interest to come to some arrangement in regard to my poor children's hair." Husk states. They pass several cells. The women have been categorized by the color of their hair. "Brunettes... Redheads… I keep the blondes in here. It was yellow hair you was looking for, ma'am?" Husk asks Vagatha.

"Yes." He replies. Husk opens the door and all the women inside all slink back in fear of the man. Husk hisses at them like a cat. Vagatha looks around and sees Charlie in the room's far left corner. "That one there has the shade I need, sir." She says hopeful.

"Come here, bitch." He growls And kneels down next to her. "Smile for the miss and you shall have a sweetie." He says while pulling out a pair of scissors. "Now, where shall I cut?" Vagatha intervenes, she pulls out a handgun.

"Not another word, Mr. Husk, or it will be your night in the land of the living." She states as Charlie steps up to her and Husk holds his hands in the air. "Now, I leave you to the mercy of your "children"." The other women attack the man and Husk starts to scream in terror.

"I got him locked in. But if he escapes, he'll go to the law." Anthony tells Edward, as he paces around his shop.

"Then he won't escape!" 

"I don't know, Mr. Couteau." He replies.

"The Judge'll be here any moment." 

Anthony then jumps in surprise as the door slams shut, Beatle Vox standing there "'Scuse me, jackass, but you fucking scared me shitless!"

"Not my intention, good sir, I assure you. Though I am here on official business. You see... there's been some complaints about the stink from your chimney. They say at night it's something most horrid. Health regulations and the general public welfare naturally being my duty, I'm afraid…" he cleans his nostrils. "I'm gonna have to take a look... at your bakehouse." He says as he clears his nose once again.

"Of course, sir. But first, why don't you come and let me pamper you?" Edward smiled, his grin almost stretching from ear to ear.

"As much as I do appreciate being pampered, I really should see to my official obligations first." Vox replied, rejecting the offer.

"I completely understand. If you'll indulge me, sir, what is that exotic aroma?" Edward asks while taking a sniff from the air around Vox's shoulder. 

"My own secret, a touch of ambergris." Vox stated proudly.

"Dare I offer you something a tad more... appropriate for a gentleman of your standing? The ladies will greatly appreciate it, sir." Edward's focus and grin never faltered.

"Well, you're the expert in these matters." Vox gives in to Edward's offer. 

" It will only take a moment. I assure you." Edward confirms and Anthony made his way back to the shop and home below.  
"Would you like a bit of bay rum, sir?"

"Bay rum is very bracing." Vox accepted as he folded up his cane and sat in the chair" 

Baxter is eating a meat pie, until he bite into something really hard. He spits it out and looks at the object in his hand which resembles a thumb. The boy looks around, seeing everything with different eyes. A huge pile of clothes are lying in a corner. At the top of the grinder, Baxter sees the pieces of meat…. human meat. He fishes out a hand, which is missing a thumb. Just as his findings clicks together in his brain, the hatchet opens and Vox's corpse falls onto the stone floor, his head breaking apart through the impact of the fall. Bacter runs to the door, trying desperately to open it, but finds that he has been locked in. "Let me out!" He cries and bangs on the door. Then a hat comes through the shoot. "Please, let me out! Let me out! Please!"

The frightened boy looks around in fear, trying to find a way to hide or escape. Eventually, the two conspirators enter the basement, only to find it empty.

"Baxter? Where is he?" Anthony asks. They keep looking and eventually enter the sewers. "Where are you, kid?" 

"Baxter?" Edward calls out.

"Nothing's gonna harm you, not while I'm around." Anthony reminds the seemingly empty sewer.

"Baxter?" Edward calls again. 

"Where are you hidin'?" Anthony says like they are playing a game of hide and seek.

"Baxter?!" Edward calls out again as he holds his razor behind his back.

"Nothing's gonna harm you, toots, not while I'm around." 

"Baxter?!" Edward calls out once again. 

Vagatha and Charlie, who is now dressed in a sailor's outfit, enter the barber shop.

"Mr. Couteau!" Vagatha calls out. She looks around but doesn't see him anywhere. "You wait for him here. I'll return with a coach in less than thirty minutes. Don't worry, no one'll recognize you. You're safe now, okay?" She says to Charlie.

"Safe? So, we run away and then all our dreams come true?" Charlie asked, a bit sceptical.

"I hope so." Vagatha answers.

"I've never had dreams. Only nightmares." Charlie looks down

"Charlie, when we're free of this place all the ghosts will go away."

"No, Vaggie, they never go away." Charlie says and Vaggies look at her for a moment.

"I'll be right back to you. Half an hour and we'll be free. I promise." And she runs out of the room. 

The beggar woman leaves her hiding spot and slowly makes her way towards the barber shop. Inside, Charlie wanders around the shop, looking at Edward's photos, not realizing she was looking at her own baby pictures. Then, the beggar woman is heard talking. 

"Beadle! Beadle! No good hiding, I saw you!" She calls from the other side of the door. Charlie quickly hides in the trunk bench. "Are you in there still, Beadle? Beadle?" She calls just before she busts inside. "Beadle, dear Beadle? Beadle deedle deedle deedle deedle dumpling   
Beadle dumpling... Ba deedle deedle deedle deedle deedle deedle dee…" the beggar woman repeats to herself. Couteau arrives, a shadow at the door frame. He steps towards the woman. 

"Who are you? What are you doing here?" He asks, voice dropping with venom and curiosity. 

"Evil is here, sir. The stink of evil from below, from her! Oh, she's the Devil's wife. Beware her, sir. She has no pity in her heart." Then she realizes something, "Hey, don't I know you, mister?" She reaches her hand towards his face. As she looks up, she seems pretty… familiar. The Judge, however, announces himself, at the bottom of the stairs.

"Mr. Couteau?" Judge Val called. Couteau acts quickly, Hh slices the beggar's throat, killing her. As she was standing above the trap door, Edward disposes of her with a push on the pedal. Her corpse lands in the cellar. Just as the door closed, Val appears at the shop's entrance. "Where is she?" He asks quickly.

"Below, Your Honor. With my neighbor. Thank heavens... the sailor did not molest her. Thank heavens, too, she has seen the error of her ways." He casually says while cleaning his razor blade.

"She has?" Val asked hopeful. 

"Oh, yes. Your lesson was well learned. She speaks only of you. Longing... for forgiveness." He smiled maliciously.

"Then she shall have it. She'll be here soon, you said?" Val asked.

"Yes."

"Excellent, my friend." 

"How about a shave?" Edward asked while gesturing towards the chair. It's clear Val still has some reservations. Edward pats on the chair. "Sit, sir. Sit. I insist." He smiled.He relents and sits down as they discuss where they left off about pretty women.

"Oh, pretty women" Val starts.

"Pretty women, yes." 

"Charolette." 

"Pretty women are a wonder.": 

"What we do for pretty women!"

"How seldom it is one meets a fellow spirit." Val continued. 

"With the same tastes... In women, at least." Edward stood there. 

"What's that?" Val asked, confused as hell.

"The years, no doubt, have changed me, sir. But then, I suppose the face of a barber... the face of a prisoner, a dog, is not particularly memorable." Edward said.   
Val looks at Edward, who has lifted his razor high into the air. That's when it hits him.

"Alastor Ledette." He said clearly furious and disgusted.

"ALASTOR LEDETTE!" Edward yelled out, outraged. He stabs the Judge in the neck, causing blood to go everywhere, even onto the skylight. He stabs him again and again, viscously grunting and gritting his teeth as Val's blood stains his face and clothes. He then briefly stops. Val, in great pain, whimpers as his attacker steps around him and slits his throat for good measure. The Judge's head falls against the headrest as Edward presses the pedal, dumping the corpse in the basement. He then looks at his bloodied razor. "Rest now, my friend. Rest now, forever." He sets the blade down.

Charlie opens the lid, it creaks. Edward turns around, he sees her. The barber grabs his razor, steps to the trunk and opens it. He sees Charlie, but the outfit prevents him from recognizing her. 

"Come for a shave, have you, lad?" He asks, venom drips with every word. 

"No, I…" Charlie starts but is cut off when Edward grabs her hair and throws her into the chair, ready to dispose of the woman in men's clothing. "Everyone needs a good shave." He raises the blade, but a scream from the basement distracts him. He looks to his side, before he leans towards Charlie. "Forget my face." She nods. The barber storms out of the shop.

In the basement, Anthony tries to shake Val's hand from his dress. He's still alive, gasping and bleeding like a wounded animal.

"Die! You poorly packaged sack of horseshit, die!" He yells.

Val let's go and finally dies on the floor at Anthony's feet. Anthony breathes frantically and looks over the bodies that have piled up. Then…. "You…" He sees the corpse of the old beggar woman and tries to quickly move it towards the oven when Edward enters the cellar. 

"Why did you scream?" He asks as if he didn't just murder three people in a span of moments.

"Oh, he was clutching onto me dress, it was nothing, he's finished now." He says while still dragging the beggar woman's corpse.

"I'll take care of it. Hold the door to the oven open." He says, pushing her away. "Hold the door, I said." He said again since Anthony paused for a moment. Edward rolls up his sleeves, ready to dispose the bodies. Anthony looking rather uneasy, opens the furnace. The fire illuminates the face of the dead woman on the floor. Anthony looks at her and Esward follows his gaze. The hair of the beggar woman appears to be yellow. Edward, like a sleepwalker, kneels down and tenderly parts her hair. He looks deeper at her face and realizes…. This was his wife, Mimzy Ledette. 

""Don't I know you?", she said…" His eyes remain locked on his wife's body, the woman he unwittingly killed. "You knew she lived, didn't you?" He asks unnervingly calmly.

"I was only thinking of you." Anthony replied

"You lied to me... " Edward said as he looked up at Anthony. 

"No, no, not lied at all! No, I never lied." He was quick to defend himself. 

"Mimzy…" 

"Said she took a poison. She did, never said that she died." 

"I've come home again…" 

"Poor thing, she lived, But it left her weak in the head. All she did for months was just lie there in bed!" Anthony grew a bit frantic. 

"Mimzy, my sweet Mimzy…" 

"Should've been in hospital. Wound up in Bedlam instead, poor thing!" Edward stands up, looking in horror at what he has done.

"Oh, my God!" He says 

"Better you should think she was dead. Yes, I lied 'cause I love you! I'd be twice the husband she could have eva been as a wife!" 

"Mimzy…"

"I love you!"

"What have I done?" Tension began to fill the moist, mucky air.

"Could that whote have cared for you like me?"

Edward turns around, stepping closer to the traitor standing before him. "Anthony, you're a bloody wonder. Eminently practical, And yet appropriate as always" he smiled his signature smile. "As you've said repeatedly, there's little point in dwelling on the past. Now, come here, my love…" 

"Do you mean it? Everything I did, I swear, I thought was only for the best. Not a thing to fear, believe me... Can what's dead still be Married?" Anthony says as he starts to dance with Edward. 

"The history of the world, my pet, is learn forgiveness and try to forget."

"By the sea, Mr. Couteau, We'll be comfy-cozy. By the sea, Mr. Couteau, Where there's no one nosy." The pair continue to dance in circles. 

"And life is for the alive, my dear, So let's keep living it."

"Just keep living it…" 

"Really living it." Edward says and yells, outraged at everything that happened. "Really living it!" 

Edward hurls Anthony straight into the open furnace. He screams and spasms, his flesh seems to melt as fire starts to consume him. The vengeful barber slowly closes the door. He briefly looks through the hatch as Anthony's last screams fade away. Mr. Couteau then locks the hatchet and turns around. He slowly steps towards Mimzy's corpse. His razor falls out of his hand as he crouches down and cradles his deceased wife. "There was a barber and his wife, and she was beautiful." He says sadness and regret fill his voice. Behind him, a sewer grate is lifted up. Baxter crawls out of the hole, his face shows nothing but anger. "A foolish barber and his wife, she was his reason and his life and she was beautiful." Baxter crawls towards the razor, stands up and walks to Edward. "And she was virtuous and he was…"

Couteau hears Baxter behind him, he lifts his head and presents his neck, ready to be cut. In an instant, the boy slices his throat. Blood pours out of the barber's neck, over his wife's face. Baxter leaves the cellar as Edward dies from his wound. More and more blood seeps out of the wound, staining the stone floor in a brilliant fiery red, illuminated by the raging, steaming oven.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there is the tale of Edward Couteau (Alastor Ledette), Demon Barber of Fleet Street.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to my wonderful friend FurbyDisaster53, for helping me come up with Als alternate name. Edward for Alastors voice actor and Couteau which means knife in french! Please check out their work! They are amazing!


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